Starting 2011= bad

The things i have to say about my year in 2010-2011.Lets just say i made the biggest mistake in my ENTIRE (teenage) LIFE!! It started off with sophomore year in high school. It was the first day and 4th period was English. As i walked in awkwardly with my best friend Marissa, seeing who else was in my class. I finally end up finding my seat after looking at the seating chart for a few minutes. After i do settle down. I look around and i see this guy, Black long hair (in his face kinda style), skater clothes and shoes with a slipknot backpack. That guy that i couldn't stop staring at was James . For some reason i liked him and i wanted to get to know him. So my stupid friend yells out ''HEATHER THINKS YOUR CUTE!''. Great i think to myself now he thinks I'm weird. But no he actually he starts talking to me and, after i did talk to him we hung out and he so happened to ask me out that day when we walked to his house by our self's. 

Me and James went through so much together. He would live at my house every weekend, we were always there for each other, we were the best of friends. But things were also going wrong to. we would fight ALOT, we would always cry over each other (mostly me). We broke up more than twice and got back together. Everything was a mess but we were still trying to keep it together. We dated for 11 months untill, one summer night James came over to my house and hung out with me and my brother and his friends. Now my brother is 21 so he was drinking and so were most of his friends to (but that's not the real deal). What happened was , James wanted to drink so we got pretty fucked up and all, but sooner after he got drunk his dad called saying he will be at the house soon to pick him up! OMG we flipped out!!!! So i was rushing to try and fix him up. 1) AXE (get rid of smell), 2) Gum (get rid of breath), 3) Eye drops (get rid of red eyes). By the time i hurried and did all that in 5 minutes, his dad's headlights lit up the front of my house. James walked out the front door and all, but his dad just sat there for almost about 15 minutes.
 

That's when i knew something was wrong. An hour after that i get a phone call from my mom that James dad called the cops on me and my family. We had to have the police come to my house twice to ask questions. My whole family had stuff really important that they could loose. My parents could of went to jail,my brother could of gotten kicked out of the navy, my brothers girl friend, could of lost her child( child services). All i could of lost was a stupid relationship that wasn't worth SHIT! Of course i saw this coming, my parents forbid me to ever talk to James or see him ever again.And my parents sent me away to Kansas for the whole summer as a so called ''punishment'' and a way to get over him.(just to let you know, this is noooo punishment, im actually having fun, getting drunk and going out to clubs!) Yea i was sad and cried like crazy for days, and tried to convince my parents to let me stay with him but that didnt work. So after awhile we tried to stay together even though we couldnt see each other and we said we would wait for each other untill we were able to do what ever we wanted. That didnt work either. After all that he changed completely, he started treating me differently and was acting more of a jerk than usual, he didnt trust me, He stared using hard core drugs again and OD'ed on heroine and was sent to the hospital! i just couldn't take it anymore! i wasn't happy AT ALL, and it was never gonna work out because of his dumb ass mistake, I'm not gonna sit here and cry everyday because of you anymore. So i dumped him.

I needed to move on so that's what i did . And that's when i got with Zachary. Now Zachary lives close to me, he goes to a different school then i do,  hes a year ahead of me, I've never seen him in person. And how i met him was through a website called myyearbook.com. And so we talked like we knew each other for a very long time and we were very open to each other. And i really did like him and care about him. He was very sweet, and he treated me good. But all of a sudden my friend Matt calls me a tells me that hes in love with me..........oh fucking shit! He was pulling his whole heart to me and begging me to leave Zach and go with him. (oh yeah something to mention  my mom forbids me to have a  boyfriend at all at least for now cause of dumb ass hole) He was crying and everything and i felt so bad i didnt know who i wanted to be with. I didnt want to hurt any of them. I knew Matt for a year and a half and i knew Zach for only a  month. So i told Matt to give me a day to think about it. as the day past by i was stressing out so much. I always wanted to be with matt but i didnt want to hurt zach. But when it started getting dark, i finally made my decision . I chose Matt. I knew i could be with him longer and see him more often and i knew he was waiting for me ever since i first started dating retard. So i was gonna be with Matthew Powers. An i hadd to explain to Zach what happened. 

To tell you the truth i do feel very bad for letting him go , i still think about him sometimes, i still do cae about him. I wish him the best. And all of this brings me today, In Kansas with my two cousins , with Matt in Texas for the summer, he works mostly everyday and all day. So sometimes its hard to get a hold of him. It makes me sad that i cant see him but i know once i come back home i will be happy to see him again :]